so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
