I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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