i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
