How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
