Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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