non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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