he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
