Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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