we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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