help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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