Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
