last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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