Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
