If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
