Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
