Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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