she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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