so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize