Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
