The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
