I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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