Cold hands, warm shart.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
