I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
