Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
