She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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