Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize