I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
