Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
