According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize