I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
