Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
