k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
