I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
