she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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