he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
