I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
