i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we made out on top of his cat.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
