I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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