there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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