His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
