Non-Jews are for practice
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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