he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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