I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
