...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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