could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
