I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
