Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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