Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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