I am in a vortex of obligation.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
