Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
