i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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