I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize