so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
