i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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