Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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