dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
