What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You're like the curious george of whores
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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