Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
